Following God's plan for our lives can be easy in theory but much more difficult in practice. I've told God multiple times, "Lord, here I am. Send me!" and I meant it 100%. In those moments, if God had told me to go to Zimbabwe or Iceland, or anywhere else on this planet, I would have gone, no strings attached. But now, in the moment when the rubber actually hits the road and I feel like I'm having to let go of things that are precious to me to cling to God's purpose for my life, overseas missions, my faith is quickly draining away and I'm finding myself questioning God's perfect plan for my life. I want to go overseas to do missions when I want, not when God wants me to, but if I do that, I'm not submitting to God like I ought to. Another thing is that I don't want to have to plan my life around becoming a missionary someday. I would like some "freedom" to choose what I want, (which sounds really self-centered when I think about it) but I feel like I have to plan that way since the choices I make today will have a lasting affect on the rest of my life. The hardest part is that there wasn't one special moment in my life when God told me, "Go into missions," but throughout the years God has made it somewhat clear in subtle ways. I just don't want to go off the deep end, convinced that God's going to send me far across the world to do missions and then find out later that he wants me to stay in the US and be a missionary to friends and colleagues here. Hmm, what do I do?
For anyone who has felt God's call to be a missionary early in life, how did you know that was God's will for your life? Once you were certain that God wanted you to be a missionary, how did that impact the choices you made? What struggles did you have and how did you overcome them? I would really appreciate hearing your stories and any advice you have.
You're welcome to comment here or if you would prefer to contact me privately, my email is hazzelelponi54 at rocketmail dot com. Thank you so much!