When I asked God to show me more of his love and teach me to love others more this year I certainly didn't expect to have some encounters with people that weren't fun or encouraging. They were difficult and they tore at my heart. I have a soft heart for others, and sometimes that means that I let my standards slip because I care about them but that's not loving them like I should. If I really loved them, I would stand up and say something. But sometimes words just don't come and I'm at a loss for how to communicate God's truth with them.
I've had friendships of all sorts given to me this past year, and they've taught me a lot. Being slandered and called names and asked to do things I believe are wrong are just some of the things that I've faced. My faith has been tested over and over this year, and I've felt it losing strength, but I haven't given up. I haven't been attacked with physical diseases but my own doubts and other people's beliefs have been attacking me and it almost seems worse than being attacked physically. I keep reading Scripture but I'm not getting much out of the passages I read. The Truth is still the same and it resonates in my heart, but God hasn't been revealing anything new to me.
My time at Cleveland State University has been excellent so far, and I've felt God's peace about attending school there. And spending another summer at PVM Camp as a counselor was great, although it was difficult too. I struggled with not having enough time to read my Bible and pray and I felt the Enemy attacking the precious people God brought to PVM, and yet God's truth prevailed, as it always has. He worked in infinite ways and brought quite a few people to salvation. I'm so grateful that he chose to me to reach out to people and often times, simply offer them a listening ear and pray with them. I had to really search my own heart when I talked to several of my campers about who God is. It wasn't easy at all and I was left with the deep realization that I can't reveal God to others...only God can and does reveal himself to people, in his perfect timing.
I'm not sure what struggles I'm going to face tomorrow or the next day, etc. on into eternity but I know without a doubt that God is faithful and he has forgiven me. Therefore, I trust him with my life and I will not let the Enemy get a foothold. Satan has no power... and he destroys and kills and lies. Jesus, on the other hand, came to give life, and give it to the full! I choose Jesus forever and always. 110 for JC!