Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Faith - Not based on feelings

Some days I am so much more hopeful about returning to Papua New Guinea than other days. This morning, the sunrise was so bright and gorgeous, and it reminded me of PNG so much. However, after making it through another boring and uneventful day of school, my faith has tumbled down, like a forty-foot drop on an rapid roller coaster. I want to remain hopeful, but sometimes it is just so hard to trust God. I know that God can provide the money that we need, but the head knowledge needs to imbed itself in my heart. My feelings are all over the place, every day, but I have been taught that I shouldn't trust them, and that is very wise information. Feelings are based on experiences and not on faith. I need to make my hopes for the future transcend my feelings for my not-so-great present. But even that I can't really do on my own. I need God's strength to be able to look at the bright side. I would hop on a plane and go back to PNG right now if I was given a ticket, but God wants me here right now. He wants our support to be low so for His glory and also so that our faith will grow. What I really need is to just believe, and continue seeking God's will in prayer. I can't promise that I'll continue to have faith-on my own it's useless. But I can promise that God will take care of me and be with me in everything I do. Even if I don't get to go back to Papua New Guinea, I still have the memories and that's enough. God will guide me.

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