The past seven months summed up.

Well, it's been a long time since I posted here, and I decided that it was time to post something and let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. The past seven months have been a roller coaster ride of sorts and I'm not quite sure what the purpose of everything I've had to go through is, but more than anything I know that God can be trusted and he has good plans for my future, so I'm clinging to him. 

When I asked God to show me more of his love and teach me to love others more this year I certainly didn't expect to have some encounters with people that weren't fun or encouraging. They were difficult and they tore at my heart. I have a soft heart for others, and sometimes that means that I let my standards slip because I care about them but that's not loving them like I should. If I really loved them, I would stand up and say something. But sometimes words just don't come and I'm at a loss for how to communicate God's truth with them. 

I've had friendships of all sorts given to me this past year, and they've taught me a lot. Being slandered and called names and asked to do things I believe are wrong are just some of the things that I've faced. My faith has been tested over and over this year, and I've felt it losing strength, but I haven't given up. I haven't been attacked with physical diseases but my own doubts and other people's beliefs have been attacking me and it almost seems worse than being attacked physically. I keep reading Scripture but I'm not getting much out of the passages I read. The Truth is still the same and it resonates in my heart, but God hasn't been revealing anything new to me. 

My time at Cleveland State University has been excellent so far, and I've felt God's peace about attending school there. And spending another summer at PVM Camp as a counselor was great, although it was difficult too. I struggled with not having enough time to read my Bible and pray and I felt the Enemy attacking the precious people God brought to PVM, and yet God's truth prevailed, as it always has. He worked in infinite ways and brought quite a few people to salvation. I'm so grateful that he chose to me to reach out to people and  often times, simply offer them a listening ear and pray with them. I had to really search my own heart when I talked to several of my campers about who God is. It wasn't easy at all and I was left with the deep realization that I can't reveal God to others...only God can and does reveal himself to people, in his perfect timing.

I'm not sure what struggles I'm going to face tomorrow or the next day, etc. on into eternity but I know without a doubt that God is faithful and he has forgiven me. Therefore, I trust him with my life and I will not let the Enemy get a foothold. Satan has no power... and he destroys and kills and lies. Jesus, on the other hand, came to give life, and give it to the full! I choose Jesus forever and always. 110 for JC!

Transitions.

I'm sure you've all been wondering what's been going on in my life these past few months. Sorry I haven't updated this blog much. I've been busy juggling the responsibilities of life and just haven't had time to write a blog post (or at least it's felt that way). You probably remember me mentioning my discontent over having to return to Cedarville University this past semester. Well, I struggled with those feelings throughout the semester and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't locate the source. I didn't feel peace being at Cedarville, not like I used to feel my freshman and sophomore years there.

In October I visited Cleveland State University with my parents when I was home for my fall break and I really liked it. Soon after that I decided to apply to CSU and was accepted right away. Through much prayer and thoughtful consideration, I felt God calling me to attend CSU starting this semester. I felt that he was challenging me to get out of the "Cedarville bubble" and into the world to be salt and light to people at Cleveland State who need to hear about Christ. And to be quite honest, I didn't feel like I was growing in my faith at Cedarville. All of the great speakers and their messages seemed to be pushing around the same stuff and their challenges seemed more for people graduating and going on overseas missions trips. (I know that not all of the challenges were like that, but the majority seemed to be.) To clarify, I do want to go overseas at some point in my life to do missions, but I believe that that won't be for a long time, maybe ten years or more in the future.

There's this itching in my heart to go somewhere where there are few Christians and spread his love there. God is stirring in my heart a desire to dare to do great things in his Name and I'm placing my trust in him and walking by faith. The first step is transferring to Cleveland State and although I'm nervous about it, I know that God has my back and he'll watch out for me there. Those words that I hear in my head saying, "It's not safe there. You could get hurt. Do you really want to do this to yourself? Cedarville is a much safer place to be," may carry some truth, but the real truth is that the safest place to be is in God's will, and since God has called me to CSU, he will provide and care for me there.

I'm stepping out in faith and letting God take the lead. Although it's a never-ending struggle, I am doing my best to surrender everything to Christ. I've found that surrender is the key to living fully for Christ. Take a look at Luke 9:23: Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me."

Here's to a new chapter of life at CSU! I can't wait for what God has in store - I'm really grateful that he holds the future and his plan for our lives is for our good.

Love in Christ,
Jess